Before facilitating this module with youth take a moment to recall when you were a young person. Remember a time when you were in transition and needed someone to hold you with respect and gentleness, someone to not pre-determine or misuse you but rather help you grow. If you did experience being held lightly, you might have experienced it as something God-given. Record your thoughts and feelings about this experience in whatever form you prefer. Now shift to thinking about what your group of young people might be experiencing in their lives. How might you hold them lightly and aid them in holding others and themselves lightly? Take note of your discoveries, ideas, and concerns. While we believe this module will aid young people in holding lightly, we also encourage adjusting the module according to the cultural, physical, and communal needs of your adolescent community.
Set up: Prepare a table for boxes and containers, a table for decorating materials, a table for potatoes and carrying bags. Arrange a chair, writing utensil, and writing surface for each person.
Warm Up: Carrying Your Burdens
When to Use:This exercise can be used when youth are feeling mentally and/or emotionally burdened. Young people often feel the heaviness, for example, of final exams, a break-up, the college application process, a change in family structure (e.g., divorce, marriage, new child) or relocation.
Items needed:
Matthew 18:1-5
Holding lightly is a spiritual practice that is based in love, from which hope and faith flow. Being held lightly is an experience we all need, but especially youth.
Participants will be able to:
As we mention in our chapter, young people are like molting lobsters.[1] Periodically they need to wiggle and struggle out of their shell, turning what was inside out in order to grow and thrive. They push, pull, and strain against the internal and external pressures of adolescence, undergoing multiple, dynamic transitions in order to be and become their future selves. They wiggle as they deal with parental fears and need for control. They feel the squeeze of dealing with educational and governmental policies that cater to standardized testing. They struggle to cope with their own fears about life, grades, friends, God, bullying, and sexuality. These “lobsters” shed truths of their younger selves, making discoveries about themselves and the world that challenge what they’ve known, which is both scary and exciting. Even as young people experience maturation (the hardening of their shell) in some aspects of their lives, there are always other parts in transition (molting) with the necessity for making more developmental shifts on the horizon, which provokes a multitude of feelings.
Because young people molt regardless of what we do or don’t do, a key question is how to provide them with nurturing environments during their transformation. We want to protect them, love them, and promote their flourishing, which we see as our God-given responsibility. However, knowing how to “handle” young people at any given moment is difficult since they are in multiple transitional states. Hold them too tightly and the lobsters are bound to rebell, resenting the feeling of being constrained, over-protected, and/or pre-determined. Hold them too loosely and they are liable to feel unseen or untended, as if they are alone. Caring adults are challenged not only to learn better ways of being with young people but also to teach them better ways of being with themselves to negotiate the strain of molting and gain hope in the midst of transitions. We believe that adults must provide conducive environments in which to molt by holding them lightly as they live a full range of experiences. If they experience being held in the midst of transitions, young people can practice playfulness, holding lightly all of life’s emotions and experiences associated with anxiety as well as joy.
[1] This metaphor is a variation on Kenda Creasy Dean’s theme of molting lobsters when discussing churches, denominations, and theological schools. Kenda Creasy Dean, How Youth Ministry Can Change Theological Education – If We Let it, (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2016) 28-9.
Gather (5 minutes)
Introduction:
This exercise is designed to help youth become aware of the various burdens they bear daily. Often youth experience heavy thoughts, feelings, and/or memories that they do not or cannot acknowledge to themselves, let alone receive affirmation that their concerns are important and valid. The session is intended to give them support to name what troubles them, ideally without being questioned, demeaned, or belittled. The activities and discussion help to remind youth that even in the midst of these burdens they can still hold lightly what they carry and help to hold others lightly so they may do the same. This module can also aid in community building among the youth as they realize that some of them experience the same concerns.
Directions:
Invite participants to think about the burdens that weigh upon them today. Give them a few moments to actually think about this. Instruct them to take a potato to represent each emotion (e.g., anxiety, frustration, stress, and fear). They can take as many as they need. Tell them to write a word or phrase naming each emotion on a piece of paper then use a rubber band to secure it to the potato. Explain that they need not share what they have written unless they wish to do so later. Invite them to place their burdens in their carrying bag. Once they finish, ask them to walk around the building seven times with the bag on their back or shoulder. (Depending on weather and distance, feel free to adjust this number.)
Engage (30 minutes)
Discussion:
Reading: Matthew 18:1-5 “At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a child, whom he put among them, and said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” NRSV
Discussion:
Transition:
Activity 1: Cajita Sagrada (Spanish for “sacred box”)
When to Use:
This exercise can be used for youth or adults to think about their dreams and future goals or to make a vision board. Making cajitas can also work well in intergenerational teams. For example, teams of ministers, adults, and youth can make sacred boxes that represent their congregation–what the community says it values, what the community actually does (or does not do) in practice, and what the community ignores or overlooks.
Introduction:
Cajita sagrada is a Spanish term for a sacred box. These boxes are for the youth to decorate and fill as they feel moved. In this exercise they are symbolizing hopes and dreams, while working creatively with representations of what weighs on them.
Directions:
Reflect (20 minutes)
Send Forth (5 minutes)
This resource includes supplementary materials: