Friendship may seem like a mundane concept, even a bit superficial for a bible study. And, depending on your definition of friendship, it might be. But here, friendship is not just a “buddy” relationship. The gospel of Jesus Christ reframes the way we might usually look at friendship. Far from being a superficial relationship that’s just about fun and games, Christian friendship is a joy filled relationship that endures in the face of whatever may come… even death. Jesus says to his disciples, “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). The kind of friendship Jesus has with his disciples, the kind of friendship that God has extended to the whole world, is an unconditional friendship—a loving relationship even if….(fill in the blank). These are the kinds of relationships to which Jesus has invited us, his disciples. 

Incidentally, young people need these kinds of relationships. Erik Erikson called it “fidelity.” According to Erikson, “‘the cornerstone’ of adolescence [is] the strength of being utterly true to oneself and others amid competing and contradictory value systems.” He wrote, “The adolescent looks most fervently for [people] and ideas to have faith in, which also means [people] and ideas in whose service it would seem worthwhile to prove oneself trustworthy.” Unfortunately, however, these are not the kinds of relationships young people (or people in general) are actually experiencing most of the time in our society. Because of our obsession with achievement, we tend to use each other to get what we want, to get ahead.  Unfortunately, “many contemporary young people simply have not experienced enough fidelity on their behalf to acquire it themselves.”

The church should be different—Christian friendship should be different! In this study, participants will learn from Jesus that true friendship is not about being bound to other people like a slave or using people to reach an outcome. True friendship is about the joy and freedom of self-sacrificial love—being liberated and opening free spaces for other people—because that is what God’s friendship with the world looks like. As the facilitator of this discussion, you have the unique opportunity to help young people sort through how they think about their relationships and to guide them toward relationships that reflect God’s joy and delight in the world.